


Pick-me up

by CheetahLeopard2



Series: Gifts and also what I'm doing instead of working on my others [17]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: But don't flirt with him, By nature, M/M, Oh how the tables have tabled, Oikawa Tooru is a flirty person, Or he'll choke, Pick-Up Lines, confirmed
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-30
Updated: 2017-03-30
Packaged: 2018-10-12 20:06:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 478
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10498536
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CheetahLeopard2/pseuds/CheetahLeopard2
Summary: Bad pick-up lines.Just trust me and read it





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [plantboycharms](https://archiveofourown.org/users/plantboycharms/gifts), [Frenchibi](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Frenchibi/gifts).



> This was really fun to write! My writing tumblr is @avien-writes and my regular is @cheetahleopard
> 
> Since this was so fun. If enough people request (or if I get and fill three commissions ;)) I will make this into a series with requested (or commissioned if you want (yes I'm desperate(thanks Frenchi))) pairings!

Oikawa Tooru has been flirting with people since the day he was born. Heck, it’s his personality. His flirty nature is one of what his aunt would call selling points.

A wink here, a pickup line there, a lingering touch, angling and narrowing his eyes  _ just so _ .

That being said, Oikawa Tooru isn’t used to people flirting back.

So when he sashays into Hajime’s kitchen with a, “How’s the most beautiful person in the world doing?” and grabs a glass of water the response has him choking and gasping and the water comes back up his throat.

The casual way Hajime said, “I don’t know, how  _ are  _ you doing?” echos in his mind, 

“Wh-h a-t?” Tooru chokes out, coughs still forcing him to double over, face contorted into an expression of disbelief when he stares at Hajime, who hasn’t spared him a glance.

  
  


It’s only the first incident.

  
  


“Hey Iwa-chan. Iwa-chan!”

Hajime hums to show he’s listening, “Yeah Shittykawa?”

Tooru pouts at the name, but soldiers on. “Did you know I’m bi?”

“Tooru-”

“Bilingual.” Tooru interjects before Hajime can ruin it.

“Sometimes I talk japanese-”

Hajime sighs, not willing to break Tooru’s joke or he’d (happily) deal with the whining for a while.

“Other times-” Tooru flashes a grin, the kind that would make one of his fangirls swoon, “-I talk dirty.”

Hajime snorts, “Please.”

Tooru’s about to act insulted and then-, “As though lips as sweet as yours could talk dirty.”

And with that, Hajime gets up to throw away his trash, leaving Tooru to sit shell-shocked.

Takahiro has to drag him to their next class.

  
  


And that’s not the worst of it.

  
  


This time, it starts with a pickup line, but that isn’t what makes him choke.

Tooru’s being more direct this time.

“Iwa-chan, did you sit in sugar?”

Hajime nervously glances around, as though expecting someone to jump out and throw sugar at him.  It wouldn’t be the first time 

Luckily, Hajime is disappointed, unfortunately this sets him up for the rest of the line.

“Because your ass is as sweet as-”

Hajime cuts Tooru off by reaching into his back pocket.

Tooru does stop the line, curious about the pinched blank look on Hajime’s face. 

Hajime pulls a packet of artificial sweetener from his back pocket. And another. And another. And another.

Tooru just stares as the pile gets bigger.

And finally he can’t help it, he laughs. And then takes a sip of his drink. And chokes more.

“Hajime immediately fusses over him, “Are you okay? No no stop choking, maybe drink more water? Why are you choking Dummykawa?”

Tooru sees his chance, “I’m- ch-hoking on yo-ur cutene-ess Iwa-cha-an.”

Only to have Hajime absolutely murder him, “If choking on cuteness were possible I’d never be able to drink in your presence. Now drink this, it should help.”

 

Needless to say, it didn’t help.


End file.
